Nebraska Police Pull Over a Truck With Four Drunk, Naked People In the Cab
Nebraska Police Pull Over a Truck With Four Drunk, Naked People In the Cab… Fortunately For Them, Turns Out It’s Legal To Be Nude In a Car. According to a police report that was just released, last Friday, around 3:00 A.M., the Lancaster County Sheriff’s Office in Nebraska got a call. Someone had spotted a Ford F-250 driving recklessly . . . and more importantly, it appeared to be stuffed full of YOUNG NUDE PEOPLE. A sheriff’s deputy pulled the truck over and the report was correct. Inside the cab there were four people . . . two men and two women . . . and they were all FULLY NUDE. Their clothes were in the truck bed. They were also drunk. It appeared they’d gotten hammered on the good stuff . . . BUSCH LIGHT . . . because the deputy found an empty Busch Light box and empty cans in the truck as well. There’s good news for these four and bad news. The good news: In Nebraska, it’s totally legal to drive or ride in a car fully naked. So none of them got hit with any kind of indecency charge.
The bad news: It’s not legal to drive drunk anywhere. So while the passengers got off . . . pun not intended, but now that I made it I’m glad I did . . . the driver did NOT get off. 32-year-old Nickolus Borgman of Denton, Nebraska was arrested for his THIRD DUI, and also driving without a seatbelt, an overloaded front seat, and open containers of alcohol.
Good News Hippies: Toyota Has Announced the Official Plural Form of the Word “Prius”
You’re on the way to the raw food commune in your Prius. And when you get to the parking lot, most people rode bicycles of course, but everyone who drove came in a Prius. And you want to take a picture for your tweet about the Prius-filled lot. But you don’t know the plural form of the word Priuses. And that stops you. Toyota is finally here to help. They ran a six-week poll asking people to vote on the preferred plural form of the word Prius, and the winner is . . . Prii. (–It’s pronounced Pree-eye.) Prii beat out Priuses, Prium, and Prien. “Prii”? Really? Apparently voting for “Pri-tentious” was too on-the-nose.
Man who fell off vehicle while holding down mattresses on roof
BURLINGTON, N.C. — A man who suffered a head injury after falling off a moving vehicle had been attempting to hold down mattresses that were on the roof of the vehicle, Burlington police said. Police said Timothy Lee Walker, 48, struck his head and was lying in the street when officers arrived at the scene at North Ireland Street and Virginia Avenue on Tuesday. Walker fell from the vehicle when the driver of the 1996 Ford Explorer, Stella Thomas, 42, rounded a curve, causing the mattresses to slide off the roof, police said. Walker was taken by helicopter to a hospital in Chapel Hill. His latest medical condition wasn’t known, police said. Police said no charges have been filed, but the investigation hasn’t been completed. May we suggest bungee cords next time?
America’s Worst Speed Traps
If you’ve ever been pulled over for speeding, you know it feels like you’re a gazelle that just got taken down by a lion.
And, while this recession, and the gaping budget holes that resulted, have turned most cities into a jungle for motorists, there are some cities that have far more speed traps than others. And automated traffic cams have only egged them on. Now, they can snag just as many motorists for speeding, if not more, with less manpower. It’s hard to get this information from the police or the courts for two reasons: 1) Many tickets are negotiated in court and 2) speed limits, while originally designed to conserve fuel during the energy crisis of the 1970s, have grown into a cash cow for states and municipalities—and they don’t want you to know how much they’re making off of speeding tickets. “Speed limits are supposed to be based on factual studies of traffic and what the majority of motorists deem as a safe speed,” said Chad Dornsife, director of the Highway Safety Group . “Now, the posted limit has become a revenue generator—not a safety device.” The National Motorists Association, a drivers’ rights group, estimates that speeding tickets are a $4.5 to $6 billion industry in America. To be clear, speeding tickets aren’t just for lead foots: In some places, they’ll ticket you for going one mile over the speed limit and others set the speed limits artificially low. “In some places, the average speed limit is set 10 to 15 miles below the actual safe speed for conditions,” Dornsife said. “It makes technical violators out of people otherwise driving safely.” Check out the top ten worst speed trap cities (more…)
Our Top 11 Presidents’ Day Sale Slogans
11. Not even with George Washington’s wooden teeth could you chew more dollars offa these prices!
10. If the great, wise Thomas Jefferson were alive today, he’d write our customers a Declaration of Independence to buy a car!
9. We’ll always remember James Madison, who thought the Louisiana Purchase was a great value–but that’s ‘cause he’d never seen this many nearly-new, certified pre-owned vehicles.
8. Just like Martin Van Buren oversaw the “Trail of Tears,” we encourage our Native American friends to walk our Trail of Low Prices!
7. If President Cleveland had known about our deals on American muscle cars, he’d have changed his name to Grover Detroit!
6. Stop the invasion! ‘Cause Theodore Roosevelt could save enough money to BUY South America if he bought a used diesel truck during our Rough Riders sale!
5. Unlike President Herbert Hoover, our finance department does NOT suck.
4. We’re gonna drop a Harry S. Truman-styled atom bomb of red-tag prices, killing millions of dollars worth of down payments on your next car deal.
3. Just like George W. Bush, you’ll save enough money to invade a Middle Eastern country for no good damned reason at all!
2. This President’s Day, we’ll give a “Holla” to President Barrack Obama. We’ve spent trillions to save you $999.95 on your purchase price!
1. Have we ever had so many great cars at such low, low prices? Just like President Ronald Reagan–we don’t remember!
And with that, hope y’all have a happy Presidents Day–now go out and buy a car!
Is the Station Wagon Officially Dead?
Another part of your childhood is going to die today. It looks like the station wagon is about to disappear.
Volvo was the last company carrying the torch for the station wagon. Sure, other manufacturers might throw one token one out there, but Volvo has been leading the station wagon movement for at least 20 or 30 years. And now they’re done. And the entire station wagon genre looks like it’ll be done with them. Volvo has announced that they are going to stop selling station wagons in the U.S. because there’s no market for them anymore. Last year, they only sold 480 V50 station wagons…total…in the entire country!! The website Edmunds.com still lists 31 station wagons, but the classification they use is pretty fuzzy . . . very few of the wagons on their list remotely resemble the classic station wagon from “National Lampoon’s Vacation”. Most of them are more like minivans that are sort of shaped like the older wagons, or family vehicles like the Dodge Caliber that are in between a car and a van. Volvo says that between minivans, crossovers, and SUVs, families just aren’t interested in the more old-fashioned station wagons anymore.
A New Study Finds There’s One Occasion Where It’s Actually Safer To Drive and Talk On Your Phone
Unless you’re willfully ignorant . . . or worse, you willfully ignore OPRAH . . . you’ve heard how dangerous it is to talk on your cell phone while you’re driving. Experts say it can be even more dangerous than driving drunk. A study from the University of Kansas just found the one occasion where it’s actually SAFER to drive and talk on your phone. Researchers found that when you’re doing a long, boring drive, it’s SAFER to get on the phone toward the end of the drive. In the study, they found that people who’d been driving for hours on flat, boring monotonous roads started losing concentration toward the end of the drive. By talking on the phone, it actually makes your brain wake up and it keeps you sharper. That extra concentration more than makes up for the distraction. Paul Atchley led the study. He says, quote, “The takeaway message is that it’s almost always dangerous to talk and drive, but there might be some limited situations where cellular technology can improve safety.”
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