Buying cars, just to be buying cars..

Posted in Car Dealer VernacularY (glossary of terms) by wolferadio11 on August 4, 2010

I’m looking at my auction results today, and reminiscing back to earlier in this decade..back when I was buying cars just to be buying cars.  I trade cars wholesale, that means dealer to dealer, auction to dealer, or dealer to auction.  Those are the three methods of transactions in the wholesale used car business.

I sold 14 units today at the Dallas Auto Auction, and averaged $124.15 per unit.  is $1700 bucks I have now, that I didn’t have before, but before what? (more…)

Listener requesting insider tips on the wholesale biz.

Posted in Car Dealer VernacularY (glossary of terms), Uncategorized by wolferadio11 on July 25, 2010


I have been listening to your show on 97.5 in Houston since it started this year. I have been struck by the genuine joy you appear to have for what you do. Is it possible for you to advise me how I might get involved in used car wholesaling or used car sales? I have started several small businesses in addition to working for the U.S. Government. I have read the licensing requirements and as much information on the web as I can, what I don’t have is someone that does it or is successful at it to advise me whether or not I could be successful.

If you could give me any suggestion or advise, I would really appreciate it

Thank you,

Chad Bonds


This is going to sound clique, but it’s my opinion..and that’s what you asked for. What I have learned about wholesale trading is deep and complex from transaction history, yet simple in the fundamentals. I’ll try and hit some highlights in this response.

There are two major parts to success in the biz. A): knowing the cars & having the instincts to make good decisions, and more importantly B): creating and maintaining relationships with buyers/managers/owners at the dealerships. (more…)

RD Top Ten List: Top 10 DBag Rides

Posted in Car Dealer VernacularY (glossary of terms), Uncategorized by wolferadio11 on February 16, 2010

Long ago, auto makers realized that the way to stay ahead of the competition was to make different cars for different types of people. Now, no matter who you are, there’s a car out there that fits your scene–even if you’re a douchebag.  Here are the top 10 cars for that special segment of our society.


10. Dodge Viper


Despite being the current king of the hill at the Nurburgring, the Viper’s true stomping grounds are more along lines of the Spearmint Rhino parking lot and the drunken 10mph crawl down the Sunset Strip on a Friday night.

It’s even more frightening when one of these guys attempts to actually drive a Viper. Without any sort of traction or stability control, the Viper is an unforgiving beast when you drop the hammer, and it doesn’t care how big a douche you are.

9. Chevy SSR


What the hell is this thing? I’m just at a loss for what sort of person would see this car, then see its $42,000 debut MSRP and think “now that is the car-truck thing for me!”

Beyond being woefully underpowered, overpriced, and ungainly upon its release, the whole concept of a “factory hotrod” gives you less street cred than pre-distressed designer jeans and a trucker cap. (more…)

Car Colors: Industry Slang….Loozer Blue :(

Posted in Car Dealer VernacularY (glossary of terms) by wolferadio11 on January 24, 2010

I wish that I had some example color swatchs, to get you a visual on this discussion.  Multiple listeners of the Saturday show  email me inquiring about just what in the hey am I talking about when I call a car ‘Loser Blue’, and requesting a clearer definition of exactly what ‘Loser Blue’ means.  Here is a quick post on loser blue, plus a couple colors worthy of honorable mention.

Loser Blue: DARK or  Navy Blue=loser blue.  May look good on your Izod shirt, but not worth a damn on your Mercedes.  Loser blue is not, baby blue.  Baby blue is baby blue, but commonly refered to in a phone description from one dealer to another something like “no, it’s not loser blue, it’s baby blue…like light blue”  Then the potencial buyer goes ahead and takes a swing at selling dealer with something like “Yea, so it’s baby loser blue, even worse…how much for that loser blue pile o s*it?  Loser blue is good on some models.  Loser blue, baby blue, and slate blue all look good on most trucks or SUV’s with a two tone Peublo gold (tan) or silver two tone accent on bottom trim.  Looser blue can be attractive on full size trucks in solid colors, but will bring more $$ in a two tone config.  You may think…what about Ferrarri’s or even VETTE’s, where there is a limted blue factory run, and the odd color will cause the car to bring more?  Answer to that question:  You’re wrong.  There are a few examples of such, but not many, not enough to talk about.

B5 blue is the most desired color in a Dodge Challenger, BMW had a good run with a Blue 007 Z3 Roadster they marketed in conjuction with Neiman Marcus.  Yes, there are the exemptions, but If I called Ferarri of Beverly Hills on a dark blue Ferrari anything, I nearly guarantee the used car manager would say ‘damn, it’s loser blue, call me on a Red or Yellow car..I’m going to cut this bastard blue car back in price…are you sitting down?”

Cheap and midline cars don’t feel the loser blue effect as much in their wholesale value on the second hand market.  But (more…)

Two old car dogs resolving a misunderstanding on a split deal

Posted in Car Dealer VernacularY (glossary of terms) by wolferadio11 on November 8, 2009


Posted in Car Dealer VernacularY (glossary of terms) by wolferadio11 on November 2, 2009

 LimitedTimeOfferI just drove by a Tractor Supply Store. The owner festooned the store with a huge banner: “NEVER UNDERSOLD.” In certain states, the price claim must include the word “knowingly.” Which is another way of saying “We say we’ve got the lowest price but it’s your job to find out. If YOU can show us a lower price for an item, we’ll reduce our price to match it. Oh, do you have a written price quote? And you do realize that you’re not comparing apples to apples here. Our price includes our personal guarantee and . . . ” When it comes to this kind of malodorous marketing, car dealers rule. Here are some other examples.

TODAY ONLY!  When it comes to factory rebates, there is such a thing as an expiry date. Never mind that. Ninety-nine-point-nine times out of a hundred, the claim that a deal is only good for 24 hours is as meaningless as a politician’s promise to balance the budget. That deal the car dealer just offered you? It’ll be there in the morning. In fact, car deals only get better over time. Just like your car, the store’s vehicle is a depreciating asset. The longer you wait, the less it’s worth, the less you should have to pay. Of course, there is a bottom line, under which they can’t/won’t sell. Your job: find it! If the dealer ends-up selling the car or truck to someone else, well, you’re out of luck. Unless the dealer can somehow find another one just like it. What are the odds?

WE’RE NUMBER ONE! Ricky Bobby’s Daddy was right; second place is the first loser. And no one wants to be a loser. Or buy from a loser, now that car dealers are cratering. When a car dealer says it’s number one, it’s implying that it offers the best possible deal. Bigger is better is cheaper is better. So car dealers create their own awards. “Number one Chrysler-Dodge-Jeep-Ram-Fiat-Alfa-Mahindra dealer in the tri-state area.” It’s nearly as confusing as the Championship game in the BCS series. Actually, lose the C. It’s pure BS that doesn’t mean a thing. Chances are the store in question simply have the most aggressive and deceitful salesman in your area.

FREE! Free anything is a lie. Love is not free, so why in the hell would an oil change or tires be any different? (more…)

Guide to Automotive Industry Slang

Posted in Car Dealer VernacularY (glossary of terms) by wolferadio11 on August 20, 2009



Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
Asia’s Curse Upon Rural America
A Car Usually Rarely AppreciatesBMW
Bob Marley and the Wailers
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Beautiful Models Wanted
Bavarian Manure Wagon
Biggest Metal Waste
Big Money Works
Bring My Wallet
Burn My Wallet
Bought My Wife (more…)

Car Dealer Lingo~Glossary~Vernaculary

Posted in Car Dealer VernacularY (glossary of terms) by wolferadio11 on August 10, 2009

All Rights Reserved REAL DEAL TMLingo



Hole in the Head

This is a sunroof package in an automobile. Also be referred to as a Sun, a Moon, or the Brains Blown Out.


Chicken Walk

Car dealer infomercial where the pitch man paces in front of the inventory.  Dealership employees witness the production of the commercial spot and refer to the speaker as doing ‘the chicken walk’ Tom Park and Clay Cooley are professional chicken walkers.


John Wayne or the Duke

This is all about the middle man paying the dealer/manager on the side for cars he normally would not have a shot at, also less than what they usually would bring elsewhere. He is a bad apple


Hand shaker / Bolt Action

This means it is a manual transmission. Also see: Hog Leg


A Horse

The horse is a seasoned vet salesman you can count on selling 25 plus cars month in and month out. These guys can get hired anywhere, anytime


Hog Leg

This is a manual transmission in a truck; the shifter is very long and crooked and comes from the floor. Aka John Holmes Edition


A Package

This is an aftermarket or custom additions to the factory options of an automobile. Body kits, custom wheels and paint would be considered a “package”.  Lorinser, Regency, or Saleen are fine example of a package.


Ghetto Package: the distant cousin of “a package”, but with built with less quality material and often in poor taste.  Unfortunately half of the ghetto packages stall out in developmental stage and live their lives as half ghetto packages.


Half-Ghetto Package is an incomplete or unfinished ghetto package. 


Urban Assault Vehicle

This is a version of the package but is exclusive to a gang member with gang art and colors. The low-rider has many variations, but demands the attention of a much smaller demographic.


Big Bad Bob

This customer is easily defused but can be tricky. He is on a mission for best price, demands he is being treated badly and needs the manager, then demands prices and attempts to confuse the dealer into a bargain. Dealers are prepared for BBB, use kindness skills to kill all of the tension he creates and sell him what he wants.

8:36 or Bill King

This is the customer we have all dealt with or have been at times. He will walk in at 8:36 knowing it is almost closing time and wants to browse through hours of time. The fact that sales staff have already been at the dealership for 13 hours already makes them very anxious to get on or get off

Japanese Cadillac

Car dealer vernacular for the Lexus or Infiniti brand plate


This is a reporting number. Dealers count customers to know exactly their budget spend in advertising per customer. Opportunity To Due Business is also known as a fresh up.

Duck on the Pond

There is always a customer not being helped on the lot, he is a duck on the pond somewhat lost but trying to avoid the pack of salespeople even though he wants to be assisted. Seasoned Vets usually know when one lands.

Fresh Up

This is a customer that has never been to the dealership before or has not yet been helped upon arrival. 

Green Pea

Many dealers refer to the new guys as Green Peas, Green Horns, or newbie. This means they do not have skills developed quite yet and will not know the product very well. The need for people will create these salesmen faster than you can say fire sale.

Brass Hat Car

This vehicle is what most dealers call a program car; it was a corporate demo or a factory reps demo.

Blind Bid

This is an auto appraisal that is over the phone or a value is placed by the description sight un-seen. Bid is good upon delivery if it matches the descriptionJohn Clay Wolfe Blind-Bids all the cars on the Real Deal radio show.


These individuals are all over the map. They buy from auction and sell to dealers, they buy from dealers and sell at auction, and any combination of the two; including trading with each other.  98% of wholesalers are addicted to gambling, chain smoking, and have a problem with the IRS. Typically the wholesaler has a relative that is in the bail-bonds business.  They either look like Magnum PI, Dog the Bounty Hunter, or the $30,000 millionaire.

King Pin Wholesaler

A banker to the wholesaler.  The King Pin kept his money, paid his taxes, and finances the transaction of the wholesaler.  He makes his money from charging wholesalers a ‘draft fee’ and plays the role as the house.  The King Pin rides in the deepest ride, lives in a McMansion, playmate material as a wife, girlfriend or combination of the two.  Manheim and Adesa auctions have made drastic attempts to terminate the business model of the king pin.

Seasoned Vet

The rare group of professional salespeople that know exactly how to deal with customers and they have better product knowledge and very high salesmanship skills and ability to sale. They can also be referred to as a Horse.

Ole Car Dog

This is the older grumpier car salesman we all have come to know as very negative from years of up and down sales. They are looking for shortcuts, time off and reasons to complain why the business is so slow. We all know them and they amuse us more than annoySmoking is a must for this species. 

Oddball Split

Often confused as a billiard term, but in car industry is a closing tactic. You have a difference figure between the price of the car and the counter offer form the customer. Example: sale price is $20,000 and the counter offer $19,000. The salesman says “why don’t we split the difference and just say $19,800.” The customer perks up” that’s not a split, $19,500 is a split.” “Okay so $19,500 and it’s a deal?” This is a perfect trap because 90% of the time the customer wants to split the split:  that would be $19,250 which is $250 less than where we placed them. The salesmen simply bump them with the oddball number.

Lot Stretcher

The lot stretcher is a joke often played on the newly hired green peas. A Vet tells the pea in a hurry to go back and get the lot stretcher; we need more room or straightening up the lot. Green Peas always fall for this, the service guys send them to parts, and then back again looking for the lot stretcher. Sometimes they send peas to other dealerships and they will spin circles trying to locate who had it last. They ask what it is and we just tell them to hurry up we are all waiting. Similar to snipe hunting.

Closing Tool

The closing tool is a fictional item associated with the lot stretcher. Newbies are told to find the closing tool, bc they can not use the lot stretcher without the closing tool.

T/O or A Turn

When a car deal needs help from the sales manager he will do what we call a turn over or a T/O to the manager or floor manager. This makes sure all customers are taken care of properly and do not make mistakes and miss a potential car deal.

Tommy Turner

Often times a salesperson will have trouble with a deal and we send in a closer. This can be a floor manager or a seasoned vet. Staff pages on the intercome Tommy Turner meaning “need to send in the closer for a turn.’

Mr. Green

A fictitious dealership employee who’s name is placed in newspaper ads for bad credit customers.   “Bad Credit, Divorce, Bankruptcy WE CAN HELP just ask for Mr Green”  When the receptionist pages Mr. Green that a code word for request a customer credit application before quoting the price of a car in case the lending bank charges an Americredit.


Is a lender that specializes in poor credit customers.  When they approve a deal for financing, often their approval is contingient on charging the selling dealer a large fee, sometimes in excess of $3,000, plus Austin as the interest rate.

Austin Rate

Austin is the state capital of Texas, the term Austin Rate is slang for the state cap lending rate, which is 26.26%

The Closer

This is the man always greeting you before you leave. He has selling on his mind and is there to make sure we exhaust every effort in selling you today not tomorrow. He can handle any objection and is very persuasive; some dealers may apply extreme pressure before you leave the lot.

Whistle Pisser

The whistle pisser is a funny name for a funny act. I was selling Lexus and my manager said look at this whistle pisser. He gets out of his Buick, goes over and stands as far away from the window sticker as possible trying to see the MSRP. He then whistles shaking his head and mentally pisses his pants. (Kyle Casey)

A Rabbit

This is a name for the guy bouncing all over the auction lane bidding on his own vehicle. He runs up the bidding and hops right off once it is in the money.

In the Money

Term used when a used car is bought for at or below current market pricing.   Also reffered to as ‘on the money’ ‘worth the money’ or ‘stolen’

Blue Sky

The value of a franchised car dealership.  Also reffered to simply as ‘Blue’ meaning the good will dollar amount added to the price of an ongoing business.  For instance your local Ford dealer sells his business for ten million dollars. 6 million of that is real and hard assets plus 4 million of goodwill or ‘blue’.


Tires are an important part of the value on many models. The effect on the value on a Corvette for example could be $1500 for a set of new skins.

Trap Trader

This is a rouge move that creates problems on top of problems. The dealer sells off a car he owns well above current market for a value higher than its worth, he does this to exchange with another dealer to do the same and buy their car for more than what it is worth. Typically floorplanning banks/lenders have a days in stock deadline to sell inventory. So trap trading is  two dealers trade their problem inventory to one another to start the clock over on the freshly traded unit, but in reality just postponing their financial woes.

Floor or Floorplan

This is the lifeline of a car dealer new or used.  A Floor is the credit facility provided by a lender to pay for a dealers stock of automobile inventory.  Most lenders charge 2 points over prime as the floor rate of interest.  The amount of floor a dealer has dictates how large the business operation can be.  A huge auto dealership typically has in excess of 15-20 million on the floor line.  A small new car dealer typically carries 2 million, and a small used dealer normally operates around the $250,000 inventory level.

Out of Business

This occurs immediately when a dealer looses their floorplan

Sale Fees

These are fees overlooked by KBB and Edmunds. The auction trade in value does not include all of the reconditioning of a car before it goes to auction and then has hundreds of dollars of sale fees. The average is sale fee is about $250 per car plus reconditioning and transporting to the auction that could be $700 to $1500. The dealer spends more than the book shows you and you will always be surprised on appraised value.

Hand Signals   Lock it Up/Slam Down/Cut Heads /Hit the Gas/Smoke em’

The auction is a very loud place with thousands of vehicles running through lanes at a fast pace. Professional buyers have many hand gestures and signals that are used to talk back and forth just like the stock exchange. The auction block and ring man will recognize these buyers and and communicate in return accordingly.

Shoot it in the Head

This term is for a vehicle going to sell for less than ever expected. You may have a unit in stock for months that refuses to sell so you take your loss to a wholesaler or auction sale and “Shoot it in the Head”

Houston we have Problem

The hurricanes from the Gulf Coast bring many issues with vehicles being involved in flood damage. Dealers can tell because the trunks and under the hood you find sand and water marks. The cars never smell right and although the title was not affected by an insurance claim: many still know ‘Houston we have a problem’  Especially the selling dealeship once the customer realizes they purchased a washed title flood car

Re-Entry Burn

You may recognize one of the famous space shuttle like vehicles from the paint on the hood and roof appearing to be burned right off.

Exercise Package or Richard Simmons

This is the extreme entry model car also know as, the exercise package. The name comes from manually shifting forward and back, in and out the clutch, rolling the windows up and down, and reaching over to lock the passenger side. Quite a workout.

Katrina Edition

This is a full blown flood car with a soon to be bad title. The insurance claim brands the title flood or reconditioned salvage and the next registrant will get a dirty salvage title.

Gay Nice

Men that live an alternative lifestyle typically have the nicest, cleanest used cars on the market.  Dealer to dealer conversation: “If it’s Gay nice, then I’ll pay $500 more”

Real Deal Venaculary Terms for how ‘NICE’ a used car is.  Nice is equated to the measurement or metric of the condition of said used car in comparison to a new car.  New cars have never been used, therefore they are the gold standard of NICE.  The proper way to translate these used car dealer to dealer venaculary is to read the published example dealer sentence and end it with the punch line below.  Please excuse the profanity, but you asked me to report this verbatim, from the field, and that’s what I’m going to do.


This little sugar is so nice, it(‘s)….

  • Slicker than a minnow
  • Still has factory air in the spare.
  • Like a puppy dog, just looking at ya with those big brown eyes
  • Has 150,000 miles, but looks like she’s got 20, just brand new in the wrapper 
  • So fuc*ing nice I dare you to find a nicer one, you SOB (many dealers swear at one another)
  • Just brand new, put a window sticker on it parked next to a new one….can’t tell the difference
  • BRAND NEW I’m TELLING YOU , brand new in the box, do you understand what I’m telling you!
  • It will be sold by Saturday or I’ll buy it back

Gray Guts

The car has gray interior so it is known as gray guts, same goes for black red, tan, etc…

Ride for Five

This is the 60 month lease (five years), also known as a roach motel because once you sign up on the ride for five, you cannot get out.


This is similar to a check printed on the outside of a white envelope. This is traditionally the financial instrument used in a dealer to dealer auto transaction.   Similar to an oil/gas draft.


This means the actual cash value for your trade. The dealer over allows $10,000 but the ACV may be only $8,500. The ACV is the real value. Always refer to this figure because the reality of the car deal is in the ACV


The difference between ACV and trade allowance on the contract in a car deal.

The Road Show

Is a staffed event sale, staged liquidation sale, tent sale, or mailer sale and has his own hit team to sell them.  Typically leave a huge wake.  He sends out a mass direct mailer just days before arrival to lure customers to the dealership, and charges the dealer 25% of the gross profit.  Sometimes roadshow sales work and create many additional sales the dealer typically would not have without the promotion.  Unfortunately, too often he leaves the dealer asking themselves “why we did this again.” We call it the road show.   Jeremy Pivin’s played the captain of a Road Show in movie ‘The Goods Live Hard/Sell Hard’ (see movie reviews at end of this post)

The Hit Team

The auto business has an unfortunate way of bringing bad habits to the dinner table. The hit team or squad is a traveling circus of salespeople we will hire for big events that we know we need extra salesman because of the huge turnout of customers. They sell many cars and make people angry including the hosting dealership’s salespeople and customers. Very similar to gypsies; they leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth, and 9 times out of 10 have a substance abuse problem.  It is not uncommon for a member of a hit team to borrow money from customers or dealership staff members with a promise of immediate payback, never to be heard from again.  Hit team members are the always the stereotypical silver tongued devil salesmen. 

Rats Roaches and Bandits

Customers credit fall into several categories. One of them is being a Rat, or a Roach and that means you will have trouble getting financed and may need a co-signer and an unusual amount of cash down.  ie “that guy was such a bandit he’d need a co-signer to pay cash”

Rocket Ship

If your credit score is over 750, you are known as a Rocket Ship, ready for immediate take off


When you owe much more on a car than it is worth, and you can not trade out until you pay down your loan.  Dealers can get buried in their inventory, just as customers get buried in their car loan.  This occurs more often in a trap trade scenario for both dealers and consumers.

Trade Difference

When you take the sale price and subtract the trade in value, you will have a trade difference. This is a way to negotiate but usually confuses customers. This figure does not include your payoff or T.T.&L.


Is the written offer brought out from the managers office to the customer.   Salespeople hear customers always saying “tell him to sharpen his pencil”.  It’s called a pencil (versus a pen) because it is not a firm figure and can be erased and refigured.


Dealers call this the test drive, they also call the cars they drive home demos: usually only the managers get to drive inventory home and this would be considered a demo.  When a salesperson is landing a customer on the demo, too often they retreat to fibbing and claim “this demo was driven by the dealer wife, it was Mrs. Dealers personal car”

De-Horse Em’

This is when you are very close to your buying a car, there may be one thing needed such as show the wife or check with your bank. The dealer encourages you to take the new car overnight and keep the trade tucked away in back of the dealership. De horsing prevent the customer from effectively shopping  another dealership because the customer is without their trade in.

Kick the Trade

When you come to a deal and there is no way to roll in the negative equity of the trade because you are so buried, the Hail Mary closing tool is to convience the customer to  let trade-in repo and do the deal without it. Ugly but desperate customers and hyper aggressive dealers can cause this occurance.

Jumping the Trade

This occurs when customer gets so confused in the numbers, that the dealer literally trades for the customers car with at a zero value.  I have seen deals where trades are jumped with values upto ten thousand dollars.  

Third Baseman

When a customer brings their boyfriend, brother in law, roomate, whomever to act as a consultant/assistant to help negociate the car deal.  Lingo: I tried to get her closed down, but she brought in this 3rd baseman that keeps queering my deal


Tax, Title, and License of the car you’re buying.

The Ring man

The auction has auctioneers calling the numbers out; helping him with bidders down below in the lane you have the ring man. He corrals all the confusion into bids for the auctioneer. He is a very important part of the buying and selling and will know who is in or out with signals.

 On the Block

The auction is in a warehouse with lanes running through one side to the other. The cars come in and stoop in front of a raised platform where the auctioneers and sellers will be watching the lanes activity. This is the auction block.


You will see this posted with any advertised payment or interest rate. An acronym for  “With Approved Credit”.

 Tent Sale

The circus looking tents we place out in the parking lot to create a sense of excitement draws in crowds. I think if people would stop falling for this, dealers would stop doing it 🙂

 Slasher Sale

This is a fun sale and is not often used anymore. The prices will be placed on the windshields of all of the cars, then discount them on the windshield slashing the price lower and lower using a loud megaphone and it feels similar to an auction. Someone will raise there hand and buy the slashed price vehicle and pay the typical retail price in all the excitement

Fire Sale

When a dealer gets the news he is out of business, or the banks floor plan is full you will find a fire sale meaning everything is going, going, gone regardless of price or profit.

 Smoking the Log

The log is an important part of keeping track of daily business and the pace outcome of the months profits and activity. There are a few weak managers that like to put deals that are not complete or not even real on the sales log to look better to the upper management. This is called Smoking the Log.

Accepting All Applications

You will see this advertised and it will sound like everyone will be approved. All it really means is we will accept your application for credit


Back in the days when tires had no tread left they would cut into the rubber and glue new tread back on the casing. Truckers still use these today. We call old car dogs re-treads because they leave and come back, again and again. Turnover is high because of inconsistent business and thus becomes a wheel of roaming salesman.

 Pink Title Blue Title Brown Title

The color of a Texas title will be blue. The brown title will be a duplicate and is a good as the blue just reprinted. We always double check the brown titles for payoffs and liens they may have a loan placed against blue title. The pink title will be salvage. The green title usually is a re-conditioned salvage title or repaired wreckage.

 Saab Story

The owners of a Saab will always have a sob story about the payoff being so high compared to the trade value. The lease was the Saab’s only way of keeping customers coming back, now they will have to figure out how to keep brand loyalty without the famous lease payment and security blanket of guaranteed lease end value.

 Weasel Piss

The greasy shine placed on your tires after a dealer details your car is called weasel piss. You do not want to get it on you. Armor all is not the same this is the industrial grade.

Mop and Glow

This is the incredible new age wax that will protect your paint and interior, for the low, low price of $595. We also refer to this as snake oil. You buy a warranty with it so it does have some value. Many import dealers include this like it or not, pay up.

Car Dealer Movies:

  • The Goods Live Hard-Sell Hard-Jeremy Pivin; close to actual business, but they lost alot most credibility in the awful story line of the movie.  This movie focused more on the ‘road show or hit team’ aspect of the biz.  I think if they would have stayed closer to the facts, then they would have made a move that didn’t suck so bad.
  • Used Cars-Kirt Russell;  Typical story between two cars dealers competing for business.  Had some viable realisms, but again after hollywood got ahold of it, they muddied it up quite a bit.  The busting miles, and slapping parts together was very consistent with business practices in the 70-80’s. 
  • Suckers-Unfortunatly this movie is very much ‘on the money’.  However, not for most dealers.  This is a story of a dealership that is very ‘jicky’ ‘mouse house’  There are stores like this, and they are the stores that pull all of these tactics.  This movie reminded me of Parnell Chrysler in Wichtia Falls Texas back in the day. 
  • Rainmain-As a wholesaler and distibutor the beginning scenes in Rainman made alot of sense to me.  The Countach Lambo’s Tom Cruise had just imported couldn’t clear US Customs due to bumper and crash bar requirments. This was very true in the early to mid 80’s when so many Americans began importing European autos from BMW, Porsche, Benz, et al.  These were ‘Grey Market’ autos and did not have the resale as US spec imports.  They were very noticable from the thin and short front/rear bumpers on the cars.  The first scene of Rainman is right on the money in both the auto trade and the young dealer spending more than he had to spend.
  • Caddillac Man-Robin Williams played a woman loving, smooth talking, good timing salesman in a Caddillac dealership.  I know this guy, he excists.  I would guess that the character was created verbatium per someones life story.  The most accurate part of the movie was the relatinship between Williams and the married receptionist in the story.   There is no offical statisitic, but I would venture to guess that 70% of attractive recpetionist at car dealerships become pregnant out of wedlock. This movie’s climax is around that relationship.

$500 sandwich

Salesman Went to lunch and missed a sale. 

Newspaper rig

A stripped down car with few options with ridiculously low advertised price.  (used to draw customers into the dealership).  AKA price leader.  In many cases these units have no air-conditioning, are standard shift, knuckle-buster windows, and carpet-delete.  AKA state trooper rig


Bald tires.  Also, may pops or will pops.  Lingo: it’s a nice car but allow 500 for the baldinis 


Customer that  tells salesman not to worry, they’ll be back to close the deal at a later time. Lingo: “Q: So what’s the story on the Smith deal?  A: boss, I couldn’t get them closed down, but they said they’ll come back Monday after he talks to the wife”

Bird dog

Referral fee paid by dealership to referring individual that sent dealership a customer that resulted in a sale.  Typical bird dog fee is a mallard ($100)

Blow em out

Don’t waste any more time with a customer.  Customer either is not interested or has champagne taste on a Budweiser budget


 An old car with no value.  Also known as a sled.  ACV on a bomb is typically under $500

Clip joint

A dealership with a reputation for overcharging. 

Crapped out

Car deal that didn’t materialize. 

Cream puff  

A used vehicle in excellent condition


Crop duster

A car that blows smoke out of the tailpipe. VernIn2

Car Dealer Currency                                                                          

  • Quarter: 250 or 2500
  • Dime: $1000
  • Nickel: $500 or $5,000
  • Double Nickel: $5,000 aka ‘pair of nickels’
  • Mallard: $100
  • Pounder: gross profit in excess of $4000
  • Buck:  thousand.   Lingo: I’ll pay 50 bucks (fifty thousand dollars)


A customer who’s very willing to part with their money right now.  Lingo: Fish on the hook, let’s roll fellas…gotta get this guy busting bugs before the hook gets out.


Customer who doesn’t have the money to buy a vehicle, but act like they do. 


Obvious use of Bondo or Fiberglass to repair rust or body damage.

Gold Package

Gaudy-looking vehicle, relative to ghetto package. Aka Mr. T package


Sell a vehicle for more than sticker price. 


The amount of discount a customer needs to close the deal. 

Grease monkey

 A mechanic. 

Tech Doctor

A Technician, formally trained mechanic. This guy is un bullshitable, he knows his stuff


Negotiations that take a long time.  Lingo: This customer is a real grinder


Amount of profit on a car deal. 

Hammer/Drop the Hammer

Exert additional pressure on a customer to buy the vehicle.  Lingo: Customer tells salesperson he’ll be back after he thinks about it over the weekend, manager says ‘drop the hammer on him before he leaves’

Hit A Home Run

Make a great deal of money on a particular sale.  Lingo:  Love the car you sold us, we hit a home run on it. AKA pounder

Idiot light

A warning light on the instrument panel.  Lingo: Go get the idiot lights reset before the customer gets here.



Key and a Heater rig

A basic car with no options. 


Money refunded to the car dealer after the sale is made. May come from the car maker, finance company or insurance companies from the sale of extended warranties. 

Licking wounds

When dealer or customer loses money on a deal


An attempt to undercut another dealer’s price.


customer with a good credit history. 


A customer who has no intention of buying

Tin Lizzie

 A very old vehicle.

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