Think sports cars and flashy SUVs depreciate the most? Think again!

If you went out this weekend and spent $58,400 on a shiny new 2010 BMW M3 coupe, you’d get more than a sweet new ride–you’d get a good investment. Odds are, a new M3 will trade in for at least $26,000 five years from now, a total depreciation of 56%. It might not sound like much, but it’s a fortune compared to some other car models.

Consumer Reports releases survey of the most and least reliable car brands.

Consumer Reports just put out the results of their annual survey about the most reliable car brands.  And there aren’t too many surprises.

—MOST RELIABLE. Porsche, Honda, Toyota, and Volvo all scored the highest in reliability.  Other brands that did well were Acura, Hyundai, Infiniti and Scion.  Ford was the most reliable of the American car brands.

—LEAST RELIABLE. Chrysler did the worst in the study . . . the Dodge Ram 1500 was their ONLY vehicle ranked as reliable. Audi, BMW, Mercedes-Benz, and Land Rover also came in near the bottom of the list.

—MOST IMPROVED. GM is usually near the basement in these lists, but they worked their way up.  They’re still not at the top of the pack, but they did better than ever before . . . 69% of their models were ranked as average or above average.

—MOST RELIABLE OVERALL VEHICLE. The Porsche Boxster was named the most reliable car in the country.

—LEAST RELIABLE OVERALL VEHICLE. The least reliable vehicle was a tie between the Audi A6 and the Jaguar XF.

A flying Humvee? Don’t laugh, Pentagon wants one!

With its armored doors and bulletproof windows, the burly Humvee has been a stalwart ground transport for the U.S. military. But now the Pentagon thinks the hulking vehicle should also be able to fly. On Tuesday, Pratt & Whitney’s Rocketdyne division in Canoga Park announced that it had been awarded $1 million to design a propulsion system for a flying Humvee. Don’t laugh, there’s good reason for an airborne truck, defense officials say. With the proliferation of improvised explosive devices, or IEDs, on the ground, a hovering Humvee would be an ideal way to keep soldiers out of harm’s way, Pentagon officials said.

A Woman In Florida Is Arrested And Argues That She’s Too Rich To Go To Jail . . . Because Her Dad Paid Cash For Her Corolla?

I have a VERY different definition of what it means to be rich than the woman in this story. She’s 28-year-old Jessica Hincapie of Bonita Springs, Florida. And over the weekend, she and a friend got into a fight while they were riding in a taxi. Apparently, they were drinking in the cab, started arguing  and then started to get physical. So the cab driver called the cops, who came to break it up. And when they did, Jessica flipped out on them. She told them, quote, “You are in trouble because I’m a New Yorker and my brother is a CSI. My dad paid cash for my Toyota Corolla, and I am too rich to go to jail.” Again, we all have different definitions of rich. Buying a $15,450 car for cash sounds comfortable, but it’s not the kind of money it takes to be above the law. It’s not “Eff You” money, it’s “Big Tip at Red Lobster” money. The cop decided to take his chances arresting a wealthy Corolla owner and took Jessica to the station. She was charged with disorderly conduct.

Oregon State Troopers Busted An 82-Year-Old Woman For Driving 110 Miles Per Hour

Last week, a state trooper in Gresham, Oregon pulled over Marcia Brandon when he caught her doing 110 MILES-PER-HOUR . . . in a 55 zone. Which is pretty insane . . . especially when you consider that Marcia’s 82 years old. The trooper was in his marked patrol car at about 8:40 A.M. on Thursday when he saw a 2005 grey Pontiac Bonneville FLY past him. He pulled over the car and found Marcia inside. She told him she didn’t realize she was going TWICE the speed limit and was just trying to get to an appointment. He issued her a $1,103 speeding ticket.

A Man Tries To Steal A Car And Fails … So He Has It Towed To His House

I guess this is how you steal a car when you have absolutely ZERO car stealing skills. Oh, and when you’re an idiot.
Last week, 21-year-old Oneil Swaby of Irvington, New Jersey wanted to steal a blue 1998 Acura Integra from a parking lot. He failed. So he went to plan B . . . and called a tow truck pretending to be the car’s owner, and had the Acura towed to his house.
The tow truck driver brought the car to Oneil’s house. When the police were investigating the theft, they traced the car to the tow company . . . who gave them Oneil’s address . . . where he was arrested.

Check Out The Ten Cars Most Likely And Least Likely To Get A Ticket

To determine the cars most likely and least likely to get a ticket, data was used from Quality Planning, a Verisk Analytics company that validates policy holder information for auto insurers. Their analysts looked at traffic violation data from February 2009 through February 2010, counting the number of violations racked up by different car models. To account for the difference in number of cars on the road, they averaged the violation count per 100,000 miles driven. Vehicles that have been discontinued for more than 10 years were not included in the analysis.

Stupid Human Tricks

My call screener “Stoner Dave” takes money off pool hustlers when he bets them on odd human tricks depicted below…..

A Town Wants To Prevent Stuff Getting Stolen Out Of Cars By…Fining People For Not Locking Up?

This seems like an INCREDIBLY backwards crime fighting plan, but what do I know?  I’m far too intelligent and rational to work for the government. Upper Moreland Township is a suburb of Philadelphia, and they’ve had trouble with people breaking in to cars.  So the city commissioners are debating a plan to fight that crime by . . . fining people who leave their cars unlocked. That’s right.  They’re not going after the people actually committing the crimes . . . they’re going after the people who might be victims. According to the local police chief, Thomas Nestel, since 2008, three out of four car break-ins have happened to cars that were unlocked. So under this new plan, if the police caught you leaving your car unlocked, you’d get a warning on first offense . . . and a $25 fine on second offense. At a town meeting, the residents were split about whether this was a good idea . . . although most of them were, naturally, leaning against it. Seems like a pretty slippery slope to me.  One day, could we get fined for not wearing bulletproof vests to prevent murders?  Or for not closing the curtains because it might show we have a nice TV inside?

Man Runs His Girlfriend Off The Road…Because She Took Away His Play Station

42-year-old Darren Suchon of Lehigh Township, Pennsylvania lives with his girlfriend, Colleen Frable.  Darren’s unemployed and plays PlayStation all day.  Colleen owns a Porsche. Colleen was getting angrier and angrier about Darren just lying around their house all day playing video games, not even trying to get a job.  So, on Friday, she left for work . . . and took his PlayStation with her. And Darren FLIPPED OUT.  He got in her Porsche, chased her down, eventually caught up to her . . . REAR-ENDED the car she was driving . . . and ran her off the road. When the police got there, he told them he, quote, “didn’t know what the big deal was.  I just wanted the game, I would never hurt her.”  He said she’d taken his PS3 to work once before and he didn’t want it to happen again. He’s been charged with simple assault, reckless endangerment, harassment, disorderly conduct, reckless driving, and driving with a suspended or revoked license.