Alien Forces kill TCU BCS Title Hopes at Deathstar (I’m Mad Too, Eddie!)
Last night, the confederate soldiers of Fort Worth Texas were a mere one second, and 6 inches away from playing Bama for the National Championship title. Texas, an 11 point favorite in the Big 12 conference clinicher at the Deathstar in Arlington Texas, beat Nebraska by ONE points with ONE second left. TCU has not been in a national spotlight game since George Clooney was QB’ing in leatherheads. The undefeated Frogs, championing the Moutain West Conference , had their shot to play for national superiority, if and only if hell froze over. Last night, mid way through the 4th period, Glen Fry began to warm up his vocal chords, and Joe Walsh rolled up some of his best hash, these guys that were once living it up at the hotel California, saw hell freeze over once already. The pattener that the shoes were dropping all day saturday, it seemed hell was indeed freezing over for TCU as well. Bama beat Flordia, Cincy barly inched out Pitt, and the horns were failing to defeat Nebraska. All of this occuring one ONE saturday. In an attempt to cope with all this Saturday pressure, I solicited the local Walgreens pharmacy for a few tabs of Valium, but the clerk said ‘you and everyone else, I sold my last bottle to a family all donned in purple…it was an odd visual.’
I was this excited about a TCU game was in 84 when the Frogs were playing the steers for cotton bown placement at Amon Carter. Last night was no differen’t than 1984, because an undeserving University of Texas team screwed the Frogs out of their storybook tale. A friend of mine said it best “I would have rather UT beat the corns by 20 than to sit through the painful false pretense of that emotional rollercoaster at Cows stadium.”
Last nights contest of the hotdogs vs the corndogs reminds me of the birth of my first child. Just sitting and waiting for an enlongated period with no action, no progress, just hours of solitude. After total offensive yards from both parties crested a whopping 100, well after the half, the baby finally began to crown. We (TCU Fans) could see it… this TCU baby was over 50 years in the whomb, we’ve been hearing about it all our lives, but finally we were seeing it. Witnessing the impossible occur, and what a great year for impossible to occur when a black man just took the US presidency. Hell froze over last Novemeber when that occured, the Frogs were just hopping along the ice heading to the National Championship game.
The true sinner in this dissapointing climatic misfire is noneother than; Nebraka’s kicker. He may just go to hell for shanking that kickoff last night. Not like a high stakes field goal attempt, but a kick off. A ball, on a tee, with no pressure, but to kick it straight. Why would he shank a kickoff at the end like this, costing the Frogs their limelight. In the final minutes of the game, I was taking off my jammies replacing them with jeans and a sweater, preparing to go out. I didn’t know where OUT was, but suspected that many proud Fort Worthians would make their ways out into the streets, sidewalks, and bars to ask others if what just happened, really just happened. Seeking validation that what we just witnessed on the boob tube was indeed reality, then drink mounds of alcohol in celebration. Many a child could have been convieved last night, if that damn farmboy kicker hadn’t shot a duck, and ruined it for TCU.
I should still be asleep right now, just to wake up at 11AM with a horriffic hangover. The kind of constrictive bloodflow pain that BC power in it’s purest form cannot tackle, the kind of hangover that you think “I wonder if someone at the ER would let me take a few pulls off their oxygen bottle, or maybe a local airport has an O bottle and mask they’d loan me for 15 mintutes to recover. I’ ve never been so dissappointed to be feeling so well. Traditionally, us Texans would be excited that UT is playing for the big enchilada, but this year I’m going to have a chip on my shoulder. With that chip, I make the following statment….Roll Tide Roll.