REAL DEAL AUTO BLOG

Guide to Automotive Industry Slang

Posted in Car Dealer VernacularY (glossary of terms) by wolferadio11 on August 20, 2009

   

  

ACURA
Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
Asia’s Curse Upon Rural America
A Car Usually Rarely AppreciatesBMW
Bob Marley and the Wailers
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Beautiful Models Wanted
Bavarian Manure Wagon
Biggest Metal Waste
Big Money Works
Bring My Wallet
Burn My Wallet
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Bring More Women
Bring More Wrenches
Bavarian Money Waster
Bring My Wad!
Blew My Wad!
Big Money Wasted
Bring Money Where?
Buy More Women
But Mom, Why?
Big Manufactured Waste
   

BUICK785510
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Idiot’s Cat Killer
   

CADILLAC   


Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions
Company Asking Dealers If Local Lawyers Are Calling
 
 

  

    

    

    

CAMARO   


Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing
 
 

  

    

    

    

CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Cant Have Every Vehicle Race On Last Every Time
Can hear every valve rattle, oil leaks every time
Check Heads Every Valve Rattles Or Leaks Every Time
Cracked Heads Every Valve Rattles Oil Leaks Every Time
Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattling Oil Leaking Everywhere Truck
   

CHEVY   


Can Hear Every Valve, Rod, or Lifter Every Time
Can’t Have Everything Vern, YaknowwhatImean?
Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet
Crap Hasn’t EVolved Yet
 
 

  

    

    

    

CHRYSLER
Everyone knows who Lee Iacocca is right? His name IACOCCA stands for:
I Am Chairman Of Chrysler Corporation America
   

Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair (From James Bragg)
Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic Robbery
Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser – Expect Repercussions
PT Loser (for PT Cruiser name)
PT Boozer
   

DAEWOO
Damn All Engines With Oriental Operations
Damn Asian Engineering Works Only Occasionally
   

DODGE
Doing Overhauls Daily Gets Expensive
Doesn’t only die, gets eaten
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Design Of Diabolical German Engineer
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Damned Old Dudes Going Everywhere
Damn Overhauls Do Get Expensive
Dear Old Dad’s Garbage Engine
Dodge Neon: Need Engine Overhauled Now (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)
Darned Old Dirty Greasy Engine
Don’t Our Dealers Gouge Everyone
   

FERRARI
Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively
   

FIAT
Found In A Trashcan
Fantastic In A Tightspot
Finest Itlian Automotive Technology
Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation
Failure In Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!
Fix It Another Time
   

FIRESTONE
Firestone Inexplicably Recalls Explosive SUV Tires On Non-stable Explorers (I worked on this one for 2 hours! – Jeff)
   

FORD
Firestone Overstates Reliability Data (The best one I’ve come up with yet, my personal fav.- Jeff)
PINTO: Please, It’s Not Too Odious!
PINTO: Pyrotechnics Inevitable; No Timer Onboard
PINTO: Put In New Transmission Often
Ford Pinto: Flaming Oven Roasted Driver-Passengers Incinerated Nine Times Over (Sent in by Laurin)
THUNDERBIRD: This Hoopty Usually Needs Daily Engine Repair But It Rolls Downhill (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)
MUSTANG – Motor Usually Starts Then Almost Never Goes
Found on repairman’s doorstep
Found on rack daily
Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
Full Of Rust Deposits
Faithful, Obedient, Reliable, Dependable
F**KING OLD RETARDED DRIVER
Ford Focus….Ford F**ck Us
F**ker Only Rolls Downhill
Fancy Oil Recycling Device
Found On Rubbish Dump
F***ed Over Road Disaster!
F***ing Oakey’s Really Dig’em
F**king Old Retarded Dudes
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Depreciation
F***ing Old Rebuilt Dodge
For Old Retired Drunks
Here’s a good one: FORD backwards –> Driver Returns On Foot
Here’s another good one: FORD backwards –> Driver Relies On Family
First On Recall Day
Fast On Race Day
For Off Road Driving
Fireball On Rear Damage
First On Race Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven
Fault Of R & D
MUSTANG – Mostly Unwanted Scrap Tin And Needless Garbage
F***ed On Raw Deal
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Most tasteless one on the page: Found O.J. and Ron’s DNA
Flip Over, Read Directions
Fork Over Remaining Dough
F**king Owners Really Dumb
F***ed On Race Day
(F)illped (O)ver (R)esevation (D)ecoration
(F)**ked (O)ver (R)ebuilt (D)iahatsu
For Old Retired Dutchmen
Found On Road Draggin
Frickin Old Ragged Dumpster
Fu**ed Over Rebuilt Dodge
First On Repair Day
FORD Owners Really Dumb
From Our Reject Department
LTD = Load of Trash from Detroit
   

GEO
Get Everything Overpriced
Got Everything Overhauled
   

GMBCP643-66
Government Motors
General Maintenance
General Mistakes
Generally Malfunctions
General Misery
Great Mess
General Malpractice
Genital Motors
Give More
GiMme
Getting Malignant
Got Me
Grab Me
   

GMC
God’s Mechanical Curse
Getting Mostly Crap
GM Made Crap
Generally Makes Clouds
Garage Man’s Companion
Generic Motors Corporation
Got A Mechanic Coming?
Greatest Mistake Created
Great Mountain of Crap
Greasy Messy Contraption
Gay Man’s Chevy
Generically Made Chevrolet
Gimme My Checkbook!
Get More Cash!
   

HONDAvl0007b049
Had One, Never Did Again
Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad’s Assistance
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything (From James Bragg)
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
Honda Options: No Deal Available!
Hold On, No Dealer Add-ons!
Honda Options Never Deal Affordably
Hang On, No Dealer Acquisitions!
   

HUMMER
Hope U Made Me Extra Reliable (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)
Huge Ugly Mother, Mostly Eats Resources
   

HYUNDAI
Here’s Y U Never Drive An Import
Hope You Understand: Nothing’s Drivable And Inexpensive
Hardly Your Understanding New Dealer Allowance Incentive
Hold Your Usual Nitpicks, Designs Are Improved
Helps You Undergo New Debt After Inception
Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside
Hope You Understand, No Deals Available Inside
   

Jeep
Just Empty Every Pocket
Just Expect Every Problem (Sent in by a visitor)
Just Eats Every Penny
Just Everybody Else’s Parts
Junk Everyone Eventually Piles
Just Expect Extra Payments
   

Jaguar
Just A Guess U Are Rich (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)
Jumps Around Grinds Uncontrollably Always Rusting
Jump Around Get Up And Run
   

Kia
Keep It Away!
Kick It’s Ass
Korean Imitation Accord
Korea’s Imported Accident
Killer’s Imported Asset
Kiss It Away
Killed In Action
Keep Inside Asia
Korea Invades America
Korean Industrial Accident
Killer Implosion Awaits
Killed In Accident
   

LAMBORGHINI
Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody’s Image
Lucky A Man By Owning Really Gives His Image Nice Inflation
   

LOTUS
Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious
   

Maserati
Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)
   

MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt
Most Are Zealously Duped Always
   

MERCEDES
My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke – But Efficiency Near Zero
   

Most Expensive Road Car Everyone Drives Except Steve
Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline Evident Soon
   

MITSUBISHI
Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete
Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents (Courtesy James Bragg, FightingChance.com)
May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside (Sent in by a visitor)
Men In Tight Spots Uttering Bulls__t In Sexual Harassment Investigation
   

MOPAR
Match Old Parts As Required
Most Often Parked At Roadside
Move Over, Power Approaching Rapidly
My Old Pig Ain’t Runnin’
Move Over People Are Racing
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Motor On Pavement After Race
Moments Of Power Are Rare
   

NISSAN
Nobody Intelligent Sorrowfully Saying Ahhh Nutz
Need I Say Something About Nothing
Never In Season Simply A No-show
   

OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick’s Irregular Leftover Equipment
Oldmobile
   

PONTIAC
Poor Old Ninny Thinks It’s A Cadillac
Piece Of Nasty Tacky Icky Ass Crap
Plan On Numerous Trips In Another Car
FIREBIRD: Fast Irresistible Real Electrifying Bird Inexpensive Racing Dare-Devil
Pretty Overpriced Not That I Am Concerned
   

PORSCHE   


Plenty Of Receipts. Sorry, Can’t Have Everything
PLENTY OF REPAIRS SERVICE CAN’T HELP EVERYTHING
Proof Only Rich Snobby Children Have Everything
 
 

  

    

    

    

SAABAIKIREGCAXCJ7VKCA9XDBNOCAJL4JTDCAZ6MU3ICAXEVV19CAC289BCCAHYPT91CAICIYN3CAZJSSXWCAKHQO4UCAI040MKCANU4B3BCAPN07WDCA3V98EYCATHXP5PCA6YVJWFCA7K56L3CAFI4SER
Some Ass Actually Boughtit!
Styling Absent After Buyout
Backwards >>>> Bad Asses Always Suffocate
Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sorry Assed American Buyers
Start Adding Additional Brakefluid
Stop Asking About Brakes!
Sorry As A Bum
   

SALEEN
Some Aristocrats Love Every Expensive Novelty
   

SATURN
Sorry Assed Transmission Under Repair Now
Some Argue That Ubiquitous Repairs Needed
Send Another Towtruck Ubiquitous Repairs Needed
Same American Trash Under Revised Name
   

SUBARU
Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas
SUBARU backwards is: U R A BUS (You are a bus)
Subaru: Souped Up Bad Ass Racing Unit
Souped Up Blazingly Awesome Racing Unit
   

TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Totalled Only Yesterday, Officer Towed Away
This One You Oughta Tow Away
To Operate Your Own Terrific Automobile
Tolerances Over Yielding, Often Towed Away
Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories
   

VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Options
   

VW
Virtually Worthless
Very Wonderful
Very Weird
Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine Noise
Volks Who?
   

 AMC
Always Made Crap
Autos May Combust
   

AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
Always Under Diagnostic Inspection
Always Upside-down, Double Interest
   

 

 

 

4 Responses

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